Not a Fan

Image via CrunchBase

I use to think that facebook was such a cool idea. I have family and friends spread out all over the country and I was thrilled to find a way to keep in touch with them. Initially, it started out great. We were all catching up on all the news about each other, our families and grand kids...good times. Well, like all things, over time, facebook has become the place to advertise everything from your cousin's home business to a child's latest school sale! And while I'm at it, honestly, do you really have 2000 friends?  This has caused me to give serious thought to giving up facebook. I have about 140 friends. I know each of them and would not hesitate to call any one of them at 2 in the morning to come get me. Can you say that Mr/Ms 2000+ friends? If you want to promote your business, a cause, a church, spend some $ and take out an ad! Please don't make us spend 20 minutes deleting all the crap before we actually get to find out how our real friends are doing.

Mastering

The Master in the art of living
makes little distinction between
his work and his play,
his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body,
his education and his recreation,
his love and his religion.
He hardly knows which is which.
He simply pursues his vision of excellence
in whatever he does,
leaving others to decide
whether he is working or playing.
To him he is always doing both.

Own Your Slippers

Every once in a while, I read a novel that stays with me for a long time. One of those is Abraham Verghese's novel, Cutting for Stone. Here is a quote from his book because he has found words for something complex that can heal the heart. He writes: "The key to your happiness is to own your own slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't. If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more. Not only our actions but also our omissions, become our destiny."

Some Smart Words for Women to Remember

Political Analyst, Donna Brazile has some wise words to pass on to working women.

On Taking A Back Seat
Years ago at an important meeting, I found that a place hadn't been set for me at the table. I moved toward the line of chairs ringing the room until I thought; Hey! No man would do that! So I pushed aside a place card and sat down. If you want a seat at the power table, take one.

Accepting Lower Salaries
One study I read says women feel the need to "earn" a higher salary, whereas men believe they "deserve" a higher salary. You need to know your worth-and demand it, respectfully.

Doing Too Much For Free
If you don't value your time, no one else will.

Treating Other Women Like Adversaries
Some women are driven by the notion that the men have the power and they'll make room for only one woman. In many instances, that's true. So if there is only one woman at the table, Lord, let that one be me. But here's what would be even better: Instead of fighting  for the single seat in the room, we should all be asking, Why aren't there more chairs? To change the prevailing power structures, we need to fight for each other.

Are you Nice or Are You Kind?

I don't want to be a nice person, and I don't want people to say that I'm nice...but I do want them to say that I am kind and I want to be kinder. Kindness is transformational - transformational for the self and for the relationship. Real intimacy is the ability to hold on to and fully represent or stand with yourself and, at the same time, respond to or invite the self of the other person. In other words, there is a holiness within the other person that you must recognize and invite into the relationship. You must honor yourself and at the same time, honor the other. Kindness is different from nice because it does not leave yourself out of the equation. If you are kind to others it comes out of a wellspring of having been kind to yourself. You have been nurtured and filled by grace. You have practiced the art of caring for yourself. You consider yourself and value yourself and you have that to offer others. In contrast, being nice means you grit your teeth or sigh deeply and "do the right thing" for someone else even when that means doing things that might cause you harm or that will leave you feeling resentful. Here's the thing, the nicer you are, the meaner you will become. Yes, there are times for sacrificial love, there are times when you feel you have nothing left and you will be called upon to give. But, even these moments can be life-giving to yourself and to others through kindness.
So, be kind.

Friends aren't just for fun

"The definition of fellowship is two or more fellows in the same ship." The point: camaraderie is forged in the midst of a shared struggle; and where such camaraderie is developed, great things are accomplished. King Solomon made the same observation in Ecclesiastes 4:12. There is strength in fellowship. It is the kind of strength each of us need in order to face and prevail against the stresses and obstacles of life. This brings up a crucial truth about friendship we often fail to appreciate. We tend to consider friendship as a nicety we enjoy in our free time. We tend to think of friends as the people we hang out with at the coffee shop or take to the movies. Certainly, after hours friendship is wonderful. But friendship is more than a source of entertainment; friendship is a powerful source for doing things. Friendship is a force for accomplishing common interests and overcoming shared obstacles together. Noted in Alexis De Tocqueville's two volume book titled, Democracy in America, is his observation that "Americans of all ages, conditions, and all dispositions constantly form associations."  He was noting the many professional and volunteer associations that Americans formed in their local communities, to labor together for a common cause...people uniting in fellowship. It is the sharing of our commonalities that forge lifelong friendships and strong communities.

The Journey Continues...

On my last blog, which I admit has been quite a while ago, I was telling you about becoming a minister. Since that time I have been commissioned and have begun my volunteer work at a local hospital. While I have had a few interesting patients, I must admit, it's been pretty boring. No crisis of faith, no emergencies, no family squabbles to mediate, which was an intense part of our training. In the meantime, my van got t-boned and totaled. This is the second time it's been hit, the first by a state salt truck making an illegal u-turn on the highway. This time it was a 19 year old girl who ignored not only a stop sign but also a flagman waving her to stop! I took part of the settlement money and bought a great bike, I think for local trips I'll use it, probably a lot safer, at least I hope so. Of couse, I still need a car, but the settlement wasn't enough to buy one outright, so I have to keep an eye out for a really great deal or a very generous individual. So for now, we are a one car family. There has been some rays of sunshine, our daughter graduated with her RN degree, my husband will now have weekends free for the summer after working a second job for the last 24 weeks, and although it will make money tight, I'd rather have the pleasure of his company. My herbs are planted and already adding to our dining pleasure and quite a bit of yardwork is finished. Our son is finishing up his EMT training in two weeks and his wedding plans are well in place. So, I continue on, looking for a sign of where best to use my gifts and talents, to be a blessing to friend or stranger.