Not a Fan

Image via CrunchBase

I use to think that facebook was such a cool idea. I have family and friends spread out all over the country and I was thrilled to find a way to keep in touch with them. Initially, it started out great. We were all catching up on all the news about each other, our families and grand kids...good times. Well, like all things, over time, facebook has become the place to advertise everything from your cousin's home business to a child's latest school sale! And while I'm at it, honestly, do you really have 2000 friends?  This has caused me to give serious thought to giving up facebook. I have about 140 friends. I know each of them and would not hesitate to call any one of them at 2 in the morning to come get me. Can you say that Mr/Ms 2000+ friends? If you want to promote your business, a cause, a church, spend some $ and take out an ad! Please don't make us spend 20 minutes deleting all the crap before we actually get to find out how our real friends are doing.

Mastering

The Master in the art of living
makes little distinction between
his work and his play,
his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body,
his education and his recreation,
his love and his religion.
He hardly knows which is which.
He simply pursues his vision of excellence
in whatever he does,
leaving others to decide
whether he is working or playing.
To him he is always doing both.

Own Your Slippers

Every once in a while, I read a novel that stays with me for a long time. One of those is Abraham Verghese's novel, Cutting for Stone. Here is a quote from his book because he has found words for something complex that can heal the heart. He writes: "The key to your happiness is to own your own slippers, own who you are, own how you look, own your family, own the talents you have, and own the ones you don't. If you keep saying your slippers aren't yours, then you'll die searching, you'll die bitter, always feeling you were promised more. Not only our actions but also our omissions, become our destiny."

Some Smart Words for Women to Remember

Political Analyst, Donna Brazile has some wise words to pass on to working women.

On Taking A Back Seat
Years ago at an important meeting, I found that a place hadn't been set for me at the table. I moved toward the line of chairs ringing the room until I thought; Hey! No man would do that! So I pushed aside a place card and sat down. If you want a seat at the power table, take one.

Accepting Lower Salaries
One study I read says women feel the need to "earn" a higher salary, whereas men believe they "deserve" a higher salary. You need to know your worth-and demand it, respectfully.

Doing Too Much For Free
If you don't value your time, no one else will.

Treating Other Women Like Adversaries
Some women are driven by the notion that the men have the power and they'll make room for only one woman. In many instances, that's true. So if there is only one woman at the table, Lord, let that one be me. But here's what would be even better: Instead of fighting  for the single seat in the room, we should all be asking, Why aren't there more chairs? To change the prevailing power structures, we need to fight for each other.

Are you Nice or Are You Kind?

I don't want to be a nice person, and I don't want people to say that I'm nice...but I do want them to say that I am kind and I want to be kinder. Kindness is transformational - transformational for the self and for the relationship. Real intimacy is the ability to hold on to and fully represent or stand with yourself and, at the same time, respond to or invite the self of the other person. In other words, there is a holiness within the other person that you must recognize and invite into the relationship. You must honor yourself and at the same time, honor the other. Kindness is different from nice because it does not leave yourself out of the equation. If you are kind to others it comes out of a wellspring of having been kind to yourself. You have been nurtured and filled by grace. You have practiced the art of caring for yourself. You consider yourself and value yourself and you have that to offer others. In contrast, being nice means you grit your teeth or sigh deeply and "do the right thing" for someone else even when that means doing things that might cause you harm or that will leave you feeling resentful. Here's the thing, the nicer you are, the meaner you will become. Yes, there are times for sacrificial love, there are times when you feel you have nothing left and you will be called upon to give. But, even these moments can be life-giving to yourself and to others through kindness.
So, be kind.

Friends aren't just for fun

"The definition of fellowship is two or more fellows in the same ship." The point: camaraderie is forged in the midst of a shared struggle; and where such camaraderie is developed, great things are accomplished. King Solomon made the same observation in Ecclesiastes 4:12. There is strength in fellowship. It is the kind of strength each of us need in order to face and prevail against the stresses and obstacles of life. This brings up a crucial truth about friendship we often fail to appreciate. We tend to consider friendship as a nicety we enjoy in our free time. We tend to think of friends as the people we hang out with at the coffee shop or take to the movies. Certainly, after hours friendship is wonderful. But friendship is more than a source of entertainment; friendship is a powerful source for doing things. Friendship is a force for accomplishing common interests and overcoming shared obstacles together. Noted in Alexis De Tocqueville's two volume book titled, Democracy in America, is his observation that "Americans of all ages, conditions, and all dispositions constantly form associations."  He was noting the many professional and volunteer associations that Americans formed in their local communities, to labor together for a common cause...people uniting in fellowship. It is the sharing of our commonalities that forge lifelong friendships and strong communities.

The Journey Continues...

On my last blog, which I admit has been quite a while ago, I was telling you about becoming a minister. Since that time I have been commissioned and have begun my volunteer work at a local hospital. While I have had a few interesting patients, I must admit, it's been pretty boring. No crisis of faith, no emergencies, no family squabbles to mediate, which was an intense part of our training. In the meantime, my van got t-boned and totaled. This is the second time it's been hit, the first by a state salt truck making an illegal u-turn on the highway. This time it was a 19 year old girl who ignored not only a stop sign but also a flagman waving her to stop! I took part of the settlement money and bought a great bike, I think for local trips I'll use it, probably a lot safer, at least I hope so. Of couse, I still need a car, but the settlement wasn't enough to buy one outright, so I have to keep an eye out for a really great deal or a very generous individual. So for now, we are a one car family. There has been some rays of sunshine, our daughter graduated with her RN degree, my husband will now have weekends free for the summer after working a second job for the last 24 weeks, and although it will make money tight, I'd rather have the pleasure of his company. My herbs are planted and already adding to our dining pleasure and quite a bit of yardwork is finished. Our son is finishing up his EMT training in two weeks and his wedding plans are well in place. So, I continue on, looking for a sign of where best to use my gifts and talents, to be a blessing to friend or stranger.

The Next Great Adventure

Well, it's been a long time since I've even looked at this blog. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog, just no time. Life has taken me on an entirely new road this past year. After 18 years in education, I decided to leave the elementary school life and take early retirement. I was also being led to another type of ministry. Over a year ago, I had picked up a flyer about the Stephen Ministry at St. Vincent Hospital. It is a group of volunteers who minister to the spiritual needs of patients. I stuck it in my purse and glanced at it once in a while whenver I cleaned my purse out. One day the Spirit moved me to fill it out. I said a prayer that if this is where you want me Lord, then I'll get a call. The interview process was grueling, 4 pages of information and 6 references, both professional and personal as well as spiritual. I received a call for a personal interview, again praying the same prayer, I went to the interview. Two days later I received an email that I had been accepted into the program. I began classes in September and will be comissioned as a minister in February.  I will then begin a two year volunteer ministry At St. Vincent. I am humbled by the responsibility God has entrusted to me and pray that I will "do Him proud" in serving those in need. I am grateful to my husband who has taken on an additional job so that I can pursue this calling. Just goes to show that God hads no age limit on those He calls and like the people on the island of the TV show Lost, we just move on to the next great adventure.

At Home, At Church

In an article written by Lisa Miller, she quotes that according to a recent survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public life, seven percent of Americans say they attend religious services in someone's home. This surprising number has been "lost" while the media claims that Americans are still vague at best in their religious practices. Seven percent is quite a number when you consider atheists in America are around six percent and Jews account for two percent of the population. For so many Americans to be praying at home speaks not just of religious pluralism but what so many Christians have been saying recently; the established ways of worship aren't working anymore. The mega-church with its Wal-Mart approach to spirituality has become a fixture of the suburban landscape. What sets them apart is the family atmosphere: the potluck supper where the bread and wine are served- and, above all else, the expectation that every member contribute prayers, teachings and songs. House church members support each other, encourage each other, hold each other accountable and mentor each other . Their meetings are a shared responsibility, a time set aside for praising God and appreciating each other. Like beer, food, magazines and music, people are rejecting the one -size-fits-all approach and yearn for a church experience that is more personal and homemade.

Laments & Promises

2009 was a terrible year for me. A laundry list of disappointments, challenges, and lack of pretty much everything. I can't remember a time when I felt more discouraged but especially in my spirit. I am praying that 2010 will be better. For the first time in my life we went to a food pantry to get assistance with groceries. In the past, we were there to make donations or help bag up the food. This time we were clients. Help from family and friends was also necessary and no matter how lovingly that help is given, it does not take away the feeling of loss and failure. In spite of the fact that we were not alone and that many friends were in the same boat, we still found ourselves feeling lonely and disconnected. What I did learn from all of this is that there is a whole lot of people suffering out there. That the struggle is not week to week but sometimes minute by minute. I felt so helpless when I would hear stories from others worse off than me and yet I was unable to help except to offer a listening ear. While I didn't loose my faith, it certainly became weak. I struggle every day just to gain an inch on rebuilding it. I hope in 2010 to make myself better and stronger and to forge a stronger relationship with God and His people. Human misery can be overwhelming to the point where I became paralyzed from it all, and that is the worse thing that can happen. As much as I want to do God's work, I must arm myself with the necessary tools or else risk becoming a victim of the devastation around me. I pray this will be a better year for me, for all of us.

Winter Morning by Ogden Nash

Winter is the king of showmen,

Turning tree stumps into snowmen

And houses into birthday cakes

And spreading sugar over lakes.

Smooth and clean and frosty white,

The world looks good enough to bite.

That's the season to be young,

Catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Snow is snowy when it's snowing

I'm sorry it's slushy when it's going.

A Wisp

We are all beggars at the door of God's mercy.

The Journey of a Mother Part III

Your mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the breeze as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore. She's the cool hand on your brow when you aren't feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day. She's the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of the rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your mother lives inside your laughter, and she is crystallized in every tear drop. A mother knows every emotion - happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow. And all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she is the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, your first friend even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death!

May we never take our mothers for granted.

The Journey of a Mother Part II

Year after year, she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all...unconditional love. And when they reached the top, they said, "Mother, we could not have done it without you." The days went on, and the weeks and the months and years and the mother grew old and became little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children." And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her and gave her their strength, just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey and now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity, and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them." And the children said, "You will always walk with us Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said, "we cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory, she is a living presence.
To be continued...

The Journey of a Mother, Part I

The young mother set her feet on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked, and the guide said, "Yes, and the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it, but the end will be better than the beginning." But the young mother was happy and she would not believe anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them and taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young mother cried, "nothing will ever be lovelier than this."Then the nights came and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close. She covered them with her arms and the children said,"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." And the morning came and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary, but at all times she said to the children, "a Little patience and we are there". So the children climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms, and with this, she gave them strength to face the world... to be continued.

Today's Wisps

On Attitude
" I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both". (New Yorker)

Before Starting Anything
If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe.
Abraham Loncoln

Taking Chances
A ship in the harbor is safe-but that is not what ships are made for.