Are you Nice or Are You Kind?

I don't want to be a nice person, and I don't want people to say that I'm nice...but I do want them to say that I am kind and I want to be kinder. Kindness is transformational - transformational for the self and for the relationship. Real intimacy is the ability to hold on to and fully represent or stand with yourself and, at the same time, respond to or invite the self of the other person. In other words, there is a holiness within the other person that you must recognize and invite into the relationship. You must honor yourself and at the same time, honor the other. Kindness is different from nice because it does not leave yourself out of the equation. If you are kind to others it comes out of a wellspring of having been kind to yourself. You have been nurtured and filled by grace. You have practiced the art of caring for yourself. You consider yourself and value yourself and you have that to offer others. In contrast, being nice means you grit your teeth or sigh deeply and "do the right thing" for someone else even when that means doing things that might cause you harm or that will leave you feeling resentful. Here's the thing, the nicer you are, the meaner you will become. Yes, there are times for sacrificial love, there are times when you feel you have nothing left and you will be called upon to give. But, even these moments can be life-giving to yourself and to others through kindness.
So, be kind.

Friends aren't just for fun

"The definition of fellowship is two or more fellows in the same ship." The point: camaraderie is forged in the midst of a shared struggle; and where such camaraderie is developed, great things are accomplished. King Solomon made the same observation in Ecclesiastes 4:12. There is strength in fellowship. It is the kind of strength each of us need in order to face and prevail against the stresses and obstacles of life. This brings up a crucial truth about friendship we often fail to appreciate. We tend to consider friendship as a nicety we enjoy in our free time. We tend to think of friends as the people we hang out with at the coffee shop or take to the movies. Certainly, after hours friendship is wonderful. But friendship is more than a source of entertainment; friendship is a powerful source for doing things. Friendship is a force for accomplishing common interests and overcoming shared obstacles together. Noted in Alexis De Tocqueville's two volume book titled, Democracy in America, is his observation that "Americans of all ages, conditions, and all dispositions constantly form associations."  He was noting the many professional and volunteer associations that Americans formed in their local communities, to labor together for a common cause...people uniting in fellowship. It is the sharing of our commonalities that forge lifelong friendships and strong communities.

The Journey Continues...

On my last blog, which I admit has been quite a while ago, I was telling you about becoming a minister. Since that time I have been commissioned and have begun my volunteer work at a local hospital. While I have had a few interesting patients, I must admit, it's been pretty boring. No crisis of faith, no emergencies, no family squabbles to mediate, which was an intense part of our training. In the meantime, my van got t-boned and totaled. This is the second time it's been hit, the first by a state salt truck making an illegal u-turn on the highway. This time it was a 19 year old girl who ignored not only a stop sign but also a flagman waving her to stop! I took part of the settlement money and bought a great bike, I think for local trips I'll use it, probably a lot safer, at least I hope so. Of couse, I still need a car, but the settlement wasn't enough to buy one outright, so I have to keep an eye out for a really great deal or a very generous individual. So for now, we are a one car family. There has been some rays of sunshine, our daughter graduated with her RN degree, my husband will now have weekends free for the summer after working a second job for the last 24 weeks, and although it will make money tight, I'd rather have the pleasure of his company. My herbs are planted and already adding to our dining pleasure and quite a bit of yardwork is finished. Our son is finishing up his EMT training in two weeks and his wedding plans are well in place. So, I continue on, looking for a sign of where best to use my gifts and talents, to be a blessing to friend or stranger.

The Next Great Adventure

Well, it's been a long time since I've even looked at this blog. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog, just no time. Life has taken me on an entirely new road this past year. After 18 years in education, I decided to leave the elementary school life and take early retirement. I was also being led to another type of ministry. Over a year ago, I had picked up a flyer about the Stephen Ministry at St. Vincent Hospital. It is a group of volunteers who minister to the spiritual needs of patients. I stuck it in my purse and glanced at it once in a while whenver I cleaned my purse out. One day the Spirit moved me to fill it out. I said a prayer that if this is where you want me Lord, then I'll get a call. The interview process was grueling, 4 pages of information and 6 references, both professional and personal as well as spiritual. I received a call for a personal interview, again praying the same prayer, I went to the interview. Two days later I received an email that I had been accepted into the program. I began classes in September and will be comissioned as a minister in February.  I will then begin a two year volunteer ministry At St. Vincent. I am humbled by the responsibility God has entrusted to me and pray that I will "do Him proud" in serving those in need. I am grateful to my husband who has taken on an additional job so that I can pursue this calling. Just goes to show that God hads no age limit on those He calls and like the people on the island of the TV show Lost, we just move on to the next great adventure.

At Home, At Church

In an article written by Lisa Miller, she quotes that according to a recent survey by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public life, seven percent of Americans say they attend religious services in someone's home. This surprising number has been "lost" while the media claims that Americans are still vague at best in their religious practices. Seven percent is quite a number when you consider atheists in America are around six percent and Jews account for two percent of the population. For so many Americans to be praying at home speaks not just of religious pluralism but what so many Christians have been saying recently; the established ways of worship aren't working anymore. The mega-church with its Wal-Mart approach to spirituality has become a fixture of the suburban landscape. What sets them apart is the family atmosphere: the potluck supper where the bread and wine are served- and, above all else, the expectation that every member contribute prayers, teachings and songs. House church members support each other, encourage each other, hold each other accountable and mentor each other . Their meetings are a shared responsibility, a time set aside for praising God and appreciating each other. Like beer, food, magazines and music, people are rejecting the one -size-fits-all approach and yearn for a church experience that is more personal and homemade.

Laments & Promises

2009 was a terrible year for me. A laundry list of disappointments, challenges, and lack of pretty much everything. I can't remember a time when I felt more discouraged but especially in my spirit. I am praying that 2010 will be better. For the first time in my life we went to a food pantry to get assistance with groceries. In the past, we were there to make donations or help bag up the food. This time we were clients. Help from family and friends was also necessary and no matter how lovingly that help is given, it does not take away the feeling of loss and failure. In spite of the fact that we were not alone and that many friends were in the same boat, we still found ourselves feeling lonely and disconnected. What I did learn from all of this is that there is a whole lot of people suffering out there. That the struggle is not week to week but sometimes minute by minute. I felt so helpless when I would hear stories from others worse off than me and yet I was unable to help except to offer a listening ear. While I didn't loose my faith, it certainly became weak. I struggle every day just to gain an inch on rebuilding it. I hope in 2010 to make myself better and stronger and to forge a stronger relationship with God and His people. Human misery can be overwhelming to the point where I became paralyzed from it all, and that is the worse thing that can happen. As much as I want to do God's work, I must arm myself with the necessary tools or else risk becoming a victim of the devastation around me. I pray this will be a better year for me, for all of us.

Winter Morning by Ogden Nash

Winter is the king of showmen,

Turning tree stumps into snowmen

And houses into birthday cakes

And spreading sugar over lakes.

Smooth and clean and frosty white,

The world looks good enough to bite.

That's the season to be young,

Catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Snow is snowy when it's snowing

I'm sorry it's slushy when it's going.